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" I've enjoyed living with George and Shelly, but it'll feel more normal living with my actual parents." To change the subject completely," Mom said, "I'd like to meet your friend Reggie. He is Jewish, isn't he?" Duh, Mom!" She was trying to get me to think about something more pleasant than telling a jury what Principal Martindale had done to me, which was nice."Well, these days you can't tell sometimes, in between the Jews for Jesus and the people we've lost to cults." He's a great guy, and I just know you and Dad are going to like him. But seriously, Mom, as a lawyer, do you think I look like a credible witness?" The main thing is to TALK like a credible witness, but looking respectable can't hurt, especially since the defense is going to portray the witnesses for the prosecution as a bunch of ghetto crack whores and redneck white trash sluts." And sex changing perverts," I said, snickering. I glanced at my watch with its very feminine gold wristband. It was a premature Hannukah. I shot three males, and ended up shooting four females. Red-Face spent the entire time covering his ears and looking scared, and DirtyAsHell damned near wet himself.I had another great hero moment here. I didn't get out of the tree, even after Red-Face and DirtyAsHell climbed down and went for a look. Once they came back uneaten, I went to see for myself, pistol in hand and walking very gingerly. God, I was scared. Red-Face and DirtyAsHell exchanged a few words, and gestured to the trees. "Gobble Poo." Red-Face said, and I followed them. He led me back to my camp, and we bowed and hooted at each other for a long bit, then they ran away. They had a damned odd look on their faces. I sat on my supply box and tried to eat a little from my rations. After a bit I calmed down some and remembered that I'd left my wagon behind. I told myself I'd go get it tomorrow ... or the day after....The next morning, I woke up to a beautiful day. The sun is rising, birds are singing, and I feel sore but.
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